TRUST IN HIM...

This message is close to my heart because of all the prayers I sent to The Lord. I felt like the important ones to me weren't being heard and answered. As I've come to understand it, The Lord is patient with me as He doesn't want me to receive these blessings and perish because of lack of knowledge in using and cherishing them. He is at work within me, preparing me for these blessings. All I have to do, is wait on Him with a cheerful and thanksgiving heart and praise.

So I want to encourage you to wait on The Lord and His perfect timing. If you feel like you've done that for a long time and haven't seen results. Draw strength from Elizabeth, Sarah, Hannah (amongst other women) and this message below.

SEE NO COMPLEXION, HEAR NO COMPLEXION AND SPEAK NO COMPLEXION.

I don't know where the comparison comes from that light skin is "better" than dark skin (I mean, I found it here on Earth, was drawn into it by people and became a part of it without question). Growing up I was always uncomfortable when my sisters and I were compared to each other and people said I was "more beautiful" because I was light skinned. I remember I always hid behind my Mom's dress and would always say "what about my sisters, they are beautiful too".

I ended up not liking myself because I felt that too much attention was given to me and others ignored of it. My sisters and I ended up being torn by this (amongst other things) because they felt like I was favored more. *Thank God for Jesus because eventually my sisters and I overlooked this*

Initially I wanted this article to be about "light skin girl problems" until I realized that it is much bigger than that (don't get me wrong we do have problems and sometimes from the opposite sex but that's a topic for another time). I started my search with light skin women which Google showed me pictures upon pictures of information that light skin is "better and prettier." Events that promote battles between women of different skin complexions, ways to get fair skin and people saying "they were tired of being ugly" because they were not light/fair skinned.*Honey, if you're man doesn't love you for who you are, then he's not worthy of your everything (my opinion)*

As I was doing the research, I came upon an article that threw me way back. Back to the history of how it all came about and I want to share that with you. It is a speech made by Willie Lynch (a slave owner) in 1712 and it reads;


"Gentlemen. I greet you here on the bank of the James River in the year of our Lord one thousand seven hundred and twelve. First, I shall thank you, the gentlemen of the Colony of Virginia, for bringing me here. I am here to help you solve some of your problems with slaves. Your invitation reached me on my modest plantation in the West Indies, where I have experimented with some of the newest, and still the oldest, methods for control of slaves. Ancient Rome would envy us if my program is implemented. As our boat sailed south on the James River, named for our illustrious King, whose version of the Bible we cherish, I saw enough to know that your problem is not unique. While Rome used cords of wood as crosses for standing human bodies along its highways in great numbers, you are here using the tree and the rope on occasions. I caught the whiff of a dead slave hanging from a tree, a couple miles back. You are not only losing valuable stock by hangings, you are having uprisings, slaves are running away, your crops are sometimes left in the fields too long for maximum profit, you suffer occasional fires, your animals are killed. Gentlemen, you know what your problems are; I do not need to elaborate. 

I am not here to enumerate your problems, I am here to introduce you to a method of solving them. In my bag here, I HAVE A FULL PROOF METHOD FOR CONTROLLING YOUR BLACK SLAVES. I guarantee every one of you that, if installed correctly, IT WILL CONTROL THE SLAVES FOR AT LEAST 300 HUNDREDS YEARS. My method is simple. Any member of your family or your overseer can use it. I HAVE OUTLINED A NUMBER OF DIFFERENCES AMONG THE SLAVES; AND I TAKE THESE DIFFERENCES AND MAKE THEM BIGGER. I USE FEAR, DISTRUST AND ENVY FOR CONTROL PURPOSES. These methods have worked on my modest plantation in the West Indies and it will work throughout the South. Take this simple little list of differences and think about them. On top of my list is “AGE,” but it’s there only because it starts with an “a.” The second is “COLOR” or shade. There is INTELLIGENCE, SIZE, SEX, SIZES OF PLANTATIONS, STATUS on plantations, ATTITUDE of owners, whether the slaves live in the valley, on a hill, East, West, North, South, have fine hair, course hair, or is tall or short. Now that you have a list of differences, I shall give you an outline of action, but before that, I shall assure you that DISTRUST IS STRONGER THAN TRUST AND ENVY STRONGER THAN ADULATION, RESPECT OR ADMIRATION. 

The Black slaves after receiving this indoctrination shall carry on and will become self-refueling and self-generating for HUNDREDS of years, maybe THOUSANDS. Don’t forget, you must pitch the OLD black male vs. the YOUNG black male, and the YOUNG black male against the OLD black male. You must use the DARK skin slaves vs. the LIGHT skin slaves, and the LIGHT skin slaves vs. the DARK skin slaves. You must use the FEMALE vs. the MALE, and the MALE vs. the FEMALE. You must also have white servants and overseers [who] distrust all Blacks. But it is NECESSARY THAT YOUR SLAVES TRUST AND DEPEND ON US. THEY MUST LOVE, RESPECT AND TRUST ONLY US. Gentlemen, these kits are your keys to control. Use them. Have your wives and children use them, never miss an opportunity. IF USED INTENSELY FOR ONE YEAR, THE SLAVES THEMSELVES WILL REMAIN PERPETUALLY DISTRUSTFUL. Thank you gentlemen.” 

(http://www.finalcall.com/artman/publish/Perspectives_1/Willie_Lynch_letter_The_Making_of_a_Slave.shtml)

First of all - this content is not to anger anyone nor to look at white people with hate because as much as black people are different amongst each other, so is every human amongst their own race. This statement was made by a person who destroyed the image of many others who don't believe in what he said but were/are hated for it because of their skin color.

Second of all - don't even get me started on this man's understanding of the Lord and the Bible (that's a topic for another day).

Last of all - By us still seeing color amongst each other, we continue what someone put in place 303 years ago. 


We are ALL beautiful in the eyes of our Maker, so why should we compare ourselves to the next person? I chose a long time ago not to see complexion between my sisters (family and friends). I chose to look within, to complement other women and to encourage them to love themselves.

Let's decide today to SEE NO COMPLEXION, HEAR NO COMPLEXION AND SPEAK NO COMPLEXION.

MANDEL DAY INSPIRATION

So with Mandela Day being around the corner, I asked a very good friend of mine to tell me more about Our Earth and how we can help her.

Hi, My name is

Michillay Brown

My profession is

UNISA Environmental Sciences graduate

2015 Wits BSC honours student

Delta Environmental Centre- Environmental Educational Officer

Miss Earth South Africa 2014/2015 Ambassador

TMTV SA Entertainment News Online Television Presenter

What does it mean to be an ambassador for Miss Earth?

Being an ambassador for Miss Earth South Africa is about embodying what it means to be an environmental advocate for young women and most importantly for the youth of today. It means that one is committed and compassionate about continuing the sustainability of the Earth and the earth’s resources. A green ambassador is someone who is courageous and caring enough to be the voice for an entity that cannot speak, that entity being our very own environment. 

Being a Miss Earth ambassador means not only voicing ones concerns about environmental and societal destruction , but also becoming fully involved and hands on, being proactive environmental leaders in our society. Where all Miss Earth Ambassadors are concerned, actions have certainly spoken louder than words. Embodying the green movement and the movement of service to others has become a lifestyle rather than merely a duty.

How did you start your Miss Earth journey?

I began my Miss Earth journey in March 2014. I remember it like it was yesterday. I had heard about Miss Earth South Africa in previous years and it lingered in the back of my mind for years. Until 2014 arrived and I was absolutely adamant on filling out my application forms and getting them in before the due date.

Something about 2014 felt right, something within me wanted to be involved so badly, despite weary and uninformed opinions of friends and family members. After submitting my application I was called by Rowena Plaatjies (Miss Earth Project Coordinator) for a mass interview and workshop day which commenced that April at GoldReef City. Bright and early I was ready for this new experience and little did I know…a major chapter that shaped my entire life was about to take place.

Greeted by Rowena at the conference venue, filled with eager young ladies; differing from body shapes, sizes, ages, cultures and expectations. Arriving with my pillar of strength, my number one supporter and best friend (Mommy) right by my side, we calmly took a seat at the very back row next to a similar mom and daughter couple. The day commenced with various informative environmentally friendly workshops by various organizations, partners and sponsor.

Although the moment that lured me even deeper into this journey was the moment when speeches were given by; Miss Earth South Africa Educational Officer, Ella Bella and former (very first) Miss Earth International, Founder and National Director of Miss Earth South Africa, Catherine Constantinides.  

When these remarkable women took the stage to share their journey as Entrepreneurs, Earth Warriors, Global Green Leaders  and the powerful force behind the success of the organization; I was in absolute awe… (this is where I strongly believed I belonged). My name was called up to be interviewed in a side room with a panel of judges whose faces I couldn’t remember to this day (due to nerves lol), however I was confident, eager and determined to become a green game changer. The top 85 national semi-finalists were to be announced a few weeks following that interview. The day came to an end and as I say…The rest is history that is still being made.

I wouldn’t call it so much of a want, but more like a divine calling and urge to be a part of this absolutely extraordinary and influential organization and the phenomenal work that they do. Something inside me was burning with a passionate desire to become actively involved in society and to live a life of purpose!

What are the qualities of Miss Earth South Africa?

Miss Earth South Africa is a woman who believes in the empowerment of both women and men, the empowerment of both the girl child and boy child. A woman that thrives in a communal work and a team leader in all instances. Miss Earth must desire independence through interdependence, because together we achieve so much more.

Miss Earth is someone that has the ability to command an audience and to influence the minds of those from various backgrounds and cultures. Miss Earth is a strong and powerful woman, yet also a nurturer, a care giver, a genuine bright light in the lives of those that she may encounter. Miss Earth fully embodies and represents the lifestyle of a society that needs to participate in the green movement. Therefore Miss Earth must be a representation of promoting a sustainable future, environmentally friendly practices and the confidence and knowledge to spread the word about the importance of going green.

What are some of the responsibilities that Miss Earth is tasked with?

The Miss Earth Ladies are tasked with environmental upliftment by means of implementing a food garden at a local primary school with the children assisting in the implementation of the project. The ladies are to preferably implement their project at an underprivileged school, in order to actively teach the children and staff about food sustainability and the ability to be self-sufficient and the low costs accompanied with the benefits of their own food gardens.

During World Environment Week, up to 75 Miss Earth ladies nation-wide are tasked with planting over ten trees in their local communities where environmental replenishment is needed most.  Along with the hands-on environmental awareness projects; Miss Earth is continuously involved with fundraising initiatives, stationery, clothing and food drives in areas all over South Africa and is responsible for being a positively influential role model to many young school children that we interact with on a regular basis.

Miss Earth is also tasked with a large social responsibility as a public figure; this entails hosting environmental workshops, addressing thousands of people at conferences and schools, attending relevant social events, participating in fun-day’s and active lifestyle events, as well as being an outstanding representative at official Government and corporate gatherings. Miss Earth is also largely responsible for representing the company through media; television appearance, radio interviews and campaigns. Miss Earth is placed in a position where significant influential power must be accompanied with knowledge, maturity, leadership and elegance at all times.

Is there a “ward” you are responsible for? If so, how do you take care of it?

We are not assigned a particular ward per se, however, the Miss Earth finalists are each responsible for a number of schools in their area. The responsibility of each girl is to adopt the school and the group in the school that form part of the “Generation Earth” (GE) community. GE is founded by Ella Bella, our Educational Officer. A group of active and interested Earth warriors come together to initiate going green events and social gatherings to do environmentally friendly work around the country. The Miss Earth girl in charge of the school is there to act as a leader and an inspiration, getting actively involved and ensuring that there is continuous communication and meetings concerning potential green projects within and outside of the school.

How important is it to take care of our Earth?

We are entirely dependent on our Earth for survival, so it is vitally important to take care of every aspect of our Earth and to live a balanced life that does not diminish our resources or degrade our land.  We should treat our Earth like we treat our bodies; it is our life support system that should not be abused, mistreated, neglected or disrespected. The idea of sustaining our Earth and its resources should be a lifestyle mentality and not a chore.

What are some of the important things you want people to know about our Earth?

Every aspect of our ecosystem is dependent on each other for survival; from our non-living resources (such as our sun, air, water and soil) to our living organisms such as plants, animals and human beings. We are all intricately connected and one cannot survive without the other.

If we destroy or deplete any of our natural resources we will affect our entire ecosystem, leading to extinctions in plant and animal species and ultimately the extinction of the human race. We as humans cannot survive without a sufficient supply of water, and if we continue to pollute our water resources and deplete our water supply, then we are going to live a very unbearable short life on our Earth.

Plants and animals need water to survive, we need plants and animals as a food source (the animal part doesn't apply to vegetarians), and this shows us how every little aspect of our Earth is connected and needs to be present for balanced survival. When people think about the intricate connections of our beautiful divine Earth, they will understand the necessity of sustaining our resources and understand why spreading this awareness is very important before it’s too late.

How can one go “green”?

There are so many simple lifestyle choices that we can all make to contribute to a healthier environment:

1)     Switch off  the lights in rooms that you are not in at night and during the day,

2)     Unplug all appliances in your home that aren’t being used (chargers, laptops, microwave etc.),

3)     Start your very own vegetable garden, it’s very simple and easy, not to mention fun and a great way to get the family together. Your own vegetable garden is a great way to tackle food security by sustaining your own food sources for your household,

4)     Choose to consider making a long term investment in solar panels for your homes. A source of clean renewable energy that enables you to reduce the pressure on the power grid and it will decrease your electricity bills,

5)     Sign up with your local community green initiative and get involved, even if its once a month. There are so many environmental NGOs that need more helping hands. I became an active volunteer at Greenpeace Africa and the Melville Koppies Nature Reserve before I embarked on my Miss Earth journey, and I still continue to work with the two organisations. Getting actively involved also means that you are able to meet new like-minded people, you get to expand your network and it is through getting actively involved that I have created further opportunities in my studies and career.

6)     It is as simple as picking up litter when you see it and telling friends or family about the consequences of them littering, draw their attention to it so you are able to get them to be consciously aware of what they are doing.

7)     No matter what field you are in or career you plan to be in one day, ultimately we are sharing the Earth, “going green” is not only a job for the environmentalists, it’s a lifestyle choice for every single one of us from all walks of life. In your work place, school and homes bring up the topic of being environmentally friendly, challenge one another and invoke meaning conversations about the importance of working together on environmental issues

What are your goals as Miss Earth Ambassador for 2015?

I definitely want to expand my platform as a motivational speaker for school children, I truly believe in educating young minds and molding them into sustainable and environmentally aware individuals.

I want to spread the word as a green ambassador far and wide. 

I also want to be innovative in other areas of my life and implement green awareness as a television presenter, an educational office at Delta and as a volunteer with more NGO’s. This year we open up the programme to new hopeful candidates and my goal is to also become a mentor and role model to the new hopefuls.

 I want to inspire them to live their lives as green warriors with pure passion and enthusiasm. I want to be able to have a significant influence in the political and corporate sphere, where I am able to bring about new innovative and sustainable methods of day to day workings in companies. I plan to be very involved in the Generation Earth group at Wits University this year, as a postgraduate student with an environmental sciences degree, I will now be specializing and be more knowledgeable with my contributions to the Wits Generation Earth society.

How important is education to you?

Education is the key to long term success!! I cannot stress enough how important it is to invest in education and to further invest in higher education! I believe that once you invest in education you set yourself up for life, you create opportunities for yourself that otherwise would certainly be tough to attain.The further you climb in your education, the more employable you become, the more knowledgeable you are and ultimately you become an asset in society! Someone can knock on your door today and take away your house, your money and your material possessions, but they cannot take your education away from you, they cannot remove the world of knowledge that you put in your mind.

 I believe that every young child should be afforded the opportunity and gift of education in order to make a successful life for themselves, to seek a way out of a dark situation and to open up their minds to all the possibilities that are available in the world we live in. I am eternally grateful to my Mother for affording me the opportunity to be in the best schools all my life, and to be able to celebrate the fact that I have graduated with a degree and am able to progress further and do my honors degree this year. Education has shaped who I am as a person, as a young woman, as a growing mind and an environmental advocate in society.

How has the Miss Earth journey treated you so far?

The Miss Earth journey has been the most amazing, fulfilling and meaningful experience of my entire life.  It has opened up a world of opportunities for me in my professional career and interests. More importantly I developed some life-long friendships with young women that are genuine, kind, supportive and inspirational. These girls became my Earth Sisters, my friends and my rock throughout the programme. 

The Miss Earth managers, coordinators, directors and ambassadors become your family through all the great times and even days where you just need a shoulder to cry on. I cherish every single moment spent together because I truly found a new family within the Miss Earth organization.  We continuously have a wonderful time together and the programme has groomed me, turned me into a young powerful woman, ready to conquer the world. The Miss Earth journey has prepared me for the real world socially, intellectually and spiritually.  We have been extremely privileged and blessed to continue to work with schools, to be invited to important official events and to be on a platform where we can create green awareness around the country

What is your next journey after Miss Earth?

There are a lot of new and exciting projects in the pipeline during and after my reign as a Miss Earth South Africa Ambassador. I have recently graduated with a degree in Environmental Sciences at The University of South Africa, and I have now been officially accepted to do a full-time Bachelor of Sciences Honors degree at Wits University for the year 2015. I am extremely excited and grateful, as it isn’t easy to get into one of the top globally recognized universities. I also recently auditioned to become a presenter for a brand new and exciting online channel called TMTV SA www.tmtvsa.co.za, which is founded and produced by Hollywood producer Christian L Amougou and executive producer and artist manager Kimberleigh Stark. 

I have been announced as one of their official entertainment news presenters for the show. It is one absolutely fantastic and exciting venture, as I am finally living out a childhood aspiration and dream. It’s certainly going to be a game-changer and massive innovation and competition in the online sphere because we have one talented team of highly skilled presenters and producers running this project. I have also been back in the dancing world; I did ballet for 13 years of my life and recently returned to my number one love. I am a level 6 ballet dancer with the Royal Academy of Dance and will be doing my graded exam this year. Another addition to my future and current responsibilities; I have been training at Delta Environmental Centre and will soon become a part-time Environmental Educational Officer at Delta; where I will be teaching school learners a set curriculum about environmental matters and all spheres of our environment. Delta is a centre focused on enriched learning and dynamic way of teaching curricular to students and training corporate companies www.deltaenviro.org.za .

“Once a Miss Earth, always a Miss Earth!” So environmentally and professionally I plan to continue my involvement with the Miss Earth organization. I plan on establishing my brand as a professional, an entertainer and an environmental advocate.  

How can one get involved with Miss Earth projects?

We are more than happy to welcome more green warriors along with our projects throughout the year. You can contact our office on greenyourmind@missearthsa.co.za

You can check us out on social media;
Facebook page: Miss Earth South Africa

Twitter: @missearthsa @Michillay_Only1 @ChangeAgentSA @EllaBellaC

And you can catch us on instagram.@MissEarthSouthAfrica

The best way is to inbox us or email one of us, and follow up on what our upcoming projects are and where we will gladly have more people get involved!

How does one go about to enter Miss Earth?

Entries will be opening very soon. We have started advertising on social media already for our new applicants. I certainly encourage every young lady between the ages of 18-27 to look into becoming the next Miss Earth South Africa 2016. Entry forms will be found online www.missearthsa.co.za

"I wish all the new applicants the best of luck this year and I will be there as a fellow ambassador to support them, advise them and inspire them to become Miss Earth green game-changers!" Michillay Brown

To know more about our Miss Earth Ambassador Michillay Brown, you can follow her on 

Facebook - Michillay Brown

Instagram - Michillay and

Twitter - @Michillay_Only1

Thank you once again Michillay for your time and sharing this information with us.

HEALTHY TEETH

I have been wondering how I can take care of my teeth especially when they turn yellow and I'm not a smoker. Anyone ever feel that way? So I asked an acquaintance of mine to help me out with this.

Let me introduce him to you.

Dr Alexander Faizi Rawháni / Dr SMILE® holds many titles to his name such as a recording artist, leathersmith, lecturer at University of the Witwatersrand (Wits for short) as well as a dentist. He has worked on many recognizable artists such as Boity, Maps Maponyane, DJ Dimplez, AKA amongst many others and has transformed bad teeth to amazing teeth. 

Here's a few questions he helped me get clarity on about teeth

Hi, my name is:

Dr Alexander Faizi Rawháni / Dr SMILE®

My profession is:

Private Practice Dentist/Wits University Lecturer and singer/songwriter.

How many times a day should I brush my teeth and why?

Teeth should be brushed twice a day,everyday. Once in the morning when one wakes up and once at night before they go to sleep, not forgetting ofcourse that one needs to also floss minimum once a day and that is also at night before they brush their teeth before they sleep.

The reason we brush our teeth is to remove left over food particles and large aggregations of bacteria that adhere on and in between teeth during and in between meals.When we brush our teeth in the morning, we aim to remove the build-up of bacteria that has occurred during the hours that we have been sleeping. At night we aim to remove excess food from the meals during the day so that we go to sleep with a fresh clean mouth. The importance of thorough brushing is that at night our salivary glands (to a greater degree but not completely) shut down, and because it is our salivas job to bathe and protect our teeth, we try to help them out a little by mechanically cleaning our mouth with a toothbrush, toothpaste and floss.

What does it mean to floss and how often should I do it?

Flossing entails taking a small piece of floss (dental string) and cleaning the in between surfaces of your teeth that a toothbrush cannot reach. It needs to be done minimum once a day at night before one sleeps.

What are the health benefits of brushing teeth every day?

I have always said that correct oral hygiene maintenance not only helps our physical health in that our teeth becomes stronger, our breath smells better, our oral tissues remain healthier for longer which impacts on our overall bodily health but it also affects our psychological health, a good happy healthy smile does wonders for ones confidence and emotional state.

How often should I change my toothbrush and why?

On average, one should change their toothbrush every 3-4 months, (depending on the type of brush head and strength of the bristles). It is important to change your toothbrush, not only because of the bacterial build up on your toothbrush, but mainly because the bristles begin to wear out and  become less effective in cleaning and can actually begin damaging the teeth and gums instead of cleaning them the way they should.

What bacteria lives in my mouth and how do I kill them?

There are over 500 types of bacteria which naturally live in the mouth, that is their home, and they have been there our whole lives (so don’t freak out). Our aim is not to kill all the bacteria in our mouth as that would be un-natural, but what we aim to do is moderate the growth of those bacteria, because as soon as they grow above the “normal” limit, that is when they begin to cause damage.

The way one maintains a healthy mouth, is correct brushing and flossing each day, ending bad habits such as smoking which impair the mouths natural defense against bacteria as well as regular visits to the dentist for cleaning and check-ups.

What is tooth decay?

 Tooth decay is a breakdown of natural healthy teeth structure due to excess bacterial growth as a result of poor oral hygiene.

What are cavities?

Cavities are holes formed in our teeth by bacteria. They do this by releasing acid which breaks down the tooth structure and they release acid every time they have “food” to eat. That is why we encourage good cleaning habits, because if you ensure that you leave no food behind in your mouth, the bacteria does not have any food to eat and as a result, cannot cause damage to your teeth.

What is gingivitis?

Gingivitis is a disease of the gums characterized by swelling and bleeding and bad breath as a result of poor oral hygiene maintenance. In other words, from not cleaning your mouth properly, and requires immediate attention by a dentist or else can lead to severe damage to not only your gums but your teeth and jaw bone as well.

Is it true that the more kids a woman has, the less chance of her losing more teeth when older?

To my knowledge this is not true. Losing teeth is dependent on how well you clean your teeth, what your diet is, what medical conditions you suffer from as well as certain genetic predispositions, but not child birth as far as I have learnt.

How often should I get my teeth checked and why?

At-least twice a year, unless you know of something that needs attention and in that case, immediately. The longer you wait to see a dentist is directly proportional to the difficulty of the treatment as well as  the cost of the treatment.

What can I do now to prevent my teeth from falling out when I’m older and going brown?

Regular visits to the dentist, good oral hygiene maintenance and decrease or cessation of bad habits that damage your teeth and gums is the best way to keep your teeth string and healthy for the longest period of time.

What food is good for my teeth and which should I stay away from?

In general, food with a lot of acid and food with a lot of sugar is very bad for your teeth.

If I have yellow teeth (not caused by smoking), what can I do to get them white again?

Visit your dentist and ask about a professional cleaning, professional teeth whitening or verneers.

Where are your offices based and how can I schedule an appointment?

Our offices are based in Sandton. Our contact number is 011 305 9300 to Schedule an appointment with “Dr Alex” and our receptionist will be happy to give you any other details you require with regards to the days I am available as well as the address of our practice.

I hope this information helps you and the best advise I can give is, brush your teeth, floss, eat healthy and visit the dentist often. A HUGE thank you to Dr. Alex for his wisdom and time.

Check him out on;
Facebook - Alexander Faizi Youssefian-Rawhani
Twitter - @Dr SMILE®/LexLeo
Instagram -@drsmileslexleo

LEARNING TO LOVE MYSELF

Ever since I can remember, I have always wanted to find that "amazing love" that movies like Titanic, The Proposal, The Vow and Sex in the City amongst many others show. That look in the eyes while he says "I love you", the long walk by the beach, romantic dinner, stolen kisses, cooking together kind of love. That kind of love that people call cliché or idealist love, that one. That's me J

I have had a glimpse into that kind of love and it only came about in the first years of dating to a point where my partners said what I was asking for was impossible. That statement always baffled me as in the first years of dating, all they did was give me that kind of love to a few years down the drain the, "it's impossible" statement? I mean, how did you do it in the first years then?

*Woosa* 

It lead to a point where I thought, maybe I'm asking for too much. I mean you can't keep doing the same thing every day, every year, right? Wrong. You can (if you want to) and it's called consistency. 

I believe that true love does exist but it starts from within, not from another person. All the love that a person can ever ask/want/is looking for, is within. You only need to look and search within for it. I realized that I need to love myself in a way that completes and fulfills me that when the next person doesn't love me the way I want to be loved, I'm not upset by it because I LOVED myself first. Does that make sense? (YES/NO)? Let me break it down.

So many of us are out here looking for a man/woman to complete us and make us happy. We believe that in marriage, that's where our happiness lies as being a wife/husband and a mother/father and it's such a trap for many of us, both males and females out there. Society doesn't help as well by putting pressure on us by asking questions like "when are you getting married, time is ticking you know?". Well, tell me something I don't know.

So I decided to start a 30 DAY JOURNEY TO LOVE MYSELF. Here's how I'm doing it; 

1.Accept myself - It is OK to be me. I don't have to be someone I'm not to make the next person happy (especially a partner).

2. Spend time with me - read a book, watch the sunset, take myself out on a date (to the Spa and even on an adventure trip). Just me, myself and I.

3. Spoil myself - buy roses for myself and have them delivered with a note that says "You are beautiful and sexy" (or something like that) J

4. Try new things often - like hiking, going for a fashion show, wine tasting.

5. Spend tons of time with Friends and Family -  one thing I do when I'm in a relationship is "push away" my family and friends and focusing all of me to my partner. That hasn't gone well for me because I ended up being single. I gave my all to the wrong person and neglected those who deserve it. A man must fight to keep you EVERY DAY, even when dating (at-least that's my opinion).

6. Invest in myself (body) -  eat healthy (take cooking lessons for the fun of it), exercise regularly, discover things about my body (what products work for my body in terms of hair, face etc).

7. Invest in myself (career) -  study more, learn more, explore more, ask more, invent more.

I don't know how this is going to go, I might not stick to it all the way because I'm human but I'm committing myself to it. This is a journey that I want to last above the 30 days but for now, I'm going to take it a day at a time. I will post each day as I go J