Tuesday, 14 June 2016

PLUS SIZE IS ME...

Today I want to take you through a page in a diary of a woman that is spreading love and positivity in the world through her movement, PlusSizeIsMe. Her name is Lala and I asked her to write a piece to the readers to educate and inform people about being plus size in a world "telling" people what happiness should look like.

Lala is a person just like you and me in an imperfect world but inserting her love to be part of the change the world needs. Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder and no one should be judged for who they are and what they look like. God loves us all as we are.

You can follow her on:
Insta - @misscurvylala,
Facebook - Plus Size is ME
Website - http://plussizeisme.com

Enjoy the read and remember to spread LOVE
 

Dear Diary,

I read a quote that goes like this: “beauty lies in the eye of the beholder." What they don’t tell you is that you’re the beholder.”

I’m at a point in my life where I sleep a little more peacefully, my relationships make a lot more sense and my internal battle has quieted down. But before I tell you how I got here, let me tell you where I started.

I don’t remember much about primary school but I remember how I consistently felt. I have proof of it written in this pink/almost red diary (yes I still have it). I remember one day we were on the school bus and one of the boys shouted “everyone who is fat raise your hand!” He then looked at me and said “you’re fat, raise your hand.” I remember how often I cried after school, how I tried skipping meals and how guilty I felt because I looked nothing like the women I praised. Most importantly I remember how emotionally exhausted I was defending myself.

High school came and as I went through it, something significant happened. Something unexpected but long waited for. I was home watching America’s Next Top Model cycle 3 when I saw a plus size woman by the name of Toccara Jones competing as one of the models. That moment changed my life. For the first time I questioned the definition of beauty, my mind opened up to the idea that skinny women were not the only face of beauty. That was the exact moment my body-love/self-love journey began.




I abandoned my comfort zone. I didn’t want to be in it because it was filled with nothing but self-doubt and misery. I did something I never thought I would do. I posted a picture of myself online wearing swimwear revealing my cellulite and stretch marks. There was nothing anyone could say to me or about me that I hadn’t already said to myself. It was liberating because with that picture, I let go of living for the approval of others. I stopped obsessing over fitting into a particular size and started paying attention to curvy women with style who own their bodies. That’s the key you know, OWN YOUR BODY.


The beauty in taking ownership is that there’s no guilt, I’m not apologizing for the way I look, not to anyone and especially not men. I’ve been in relationships before where I felt grateful to the guy for dating me because I felt so unattractive, unworthy and insecure. Anytime he would tell me I was beautiful or sexy I felt sick and annoyed because I was convinced he was just trying to be nice to me. I cried myself to sleep, tormented by the idea that when he wasn’t with me, he was with someone else who was better in every way. 


So I decided to start my own journey, a journey for me and by me, from the inside out. A journey I like to call, self-love. Self- love meant letting go and finding myself. Once I began to understand who I was, I realized I’m worth all that love and respect and if he didn’t know and respect that, then there was no us.


Part of the reason I’m in such a good space mentally is because of the support I have, some of it from complete strangers but mostly from my loved ones. I’ve come to be inspired by women who don’t even know I exist. Who would have thought I’d go from hating shopping because it was a constant reminder of what the world thought I should look like as oppose to what I really look like, to being a part of a clothing campaign for Evans clothing? Who would have thought my role model (Ashley Graham) would have conquered so much? A plus size model (first size 14+ to feat in Sports Illustrated), body activist, motivational speaker and designer?  

I’ve gotten to see, learn and do so much. I’ve started a body positivity movement called Plus Size is ME for plus size women around the world, teaching them not only to accept but love and celebrate their bodies

If you keep going back and forth in your mind about whether or not to take those drama classes, TAKE THEM! They are going to give you the confidence you need to do you. Believe in yourself and don't fall short to the pressures of this world because they never stop. If you want to loose weight, do it but do it for yourself. Not anyone else. I remember feeling as if I was alone and how I wished I had someone to talk to, so I created my own podcast series, to address body politics so that young ladies/women would stop feeling like they don't belong. I now celebrate the premier of the second season of my podcast series, for more on it visit www.plussizeisme.com

In case you were wondering, I’m now a plus fashion blogger, body positive activist, and model. 



If I had something to say to my young self, it would be this:

Beautiful One, yes you.

Wipe your tears and sleep peacefully tonight because life is going to get so much better, far more than you can imagine. Wipe those tears, for tomorrow brings hope and more opportunities.

P.S

You will learn that me loving you means so much more than anyone else loving you. Go to bed now, wipe your tears. I love you.

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