RETRENCHED... NOW WHAT? - THE WAIT

The second truth is this; it gets harder before it gets better, but hold on because the end is much more rewarding if you keep pushing.

Now you know that I'm retrenched, lost a friend, single, broke and staying at my Mother's house. Have you ever went to the doctor or any medical profession, had a check-up or medical procedure done and on the second visit; you are asked to wait in the waiting room? All by yourself, waiting for the results of your health? Well on this part of the post; that's what I went through. Waiting.

My business partners and I decided that we had learned our lesson from failure, we picked ourselves up and planned the next event. We had paid the artist after all so he needed to deliver. We went back to the drawing board, wrote down everything that was required to host an event, planned, researched, asked and sourced sponsors because at that time, none of us had money to fund the event. After doing our research, we were told that in order to host an event in any public space (community hall, stadium etc), the event must be approved beforehand by the SAPS 6 months prior to the event. Yes, you read right. 6 months for someone to say yes the event can go ahead before we meet with stakeholders concerned like the health and safety department, security, architectures, water, plumbing, electricity. The works.

We thought it was a joke (no seriously, we did). How can an approval take 6 months? So we followed "protocol" and moved our date to the next following month hoping that everything would be approved before the event took place. We confirmed a venue, and waited the approval in order for us to go ahead. The approval came alright, after much follow ups of calling and sending emails. It came 2 days before our event and they told us that it wasn't approved because we sent the request late. By late they meant that we sent it a month before the event took place which means that they had to rush their protocol in order to approve our event and they weren't having that. So again, another disappointment, another failure. We then decided to really follow protocol this time as we realized that they were being serious about the approval taking 6 months. We sat and wrote our year plan down, applied all the necessary procedures we had to in advance.

At this point in time we had meetings to attend to with sponsors and my car didn't have petrol. (I was the only person with a car at this point that we could use). By not having petrol I mean not a single drop, not even in the reserve tank. That was the first time since I bought my car that I had ever experienced this. I have had my petrol light come on but never to a point where there was not even a  drop left, not even to go pour petrol. I remember my brother suggested we walk to the meetings and it wasn't like a 5km walk. No, it was a long ass distant walk. This marked the first time in my life that I had ever walked that distance. I'm proud to say I put my running shoes to good use.

My beast at the back with no petrol. Had to run to a meeting :)

  Meetings with sponsors went well, they loved our presentation. So we are still in the process of sorting out the venue and receiving approval.

My pregnant sisters at this time of their pregnancy were the bosses at home. They were running the show and we couldn't tell them any different because of "the fragile state" they were in. I mean, these ladies sucked pregnancy for all it had. Coupled with financial problems at home and the event not succeeding, it became too much and my body felt it.

So in the middle of it all I decided to meditate daily in prayer and read the bible. I remember I took out my "husband to be" list of what he has to look like and the characters I wanted him to have as a friend, lover, husband, father, leader and businessman. *I know it's weird for me to take out a "husband to be list" in the middle of what I was going through but it was the only escape I had for a future I was hoping for.* I read it and tore it into pieces. Not because I was angry or anything but it was because while I was meditating, I realized that while it is a good thing to write down a list of the kind of person you want, it wasn't a good thing to live for it. By living for it I mean focusing your eyes on the man of your list and not letting God do His part. He heard you when you told him your list but you have to trust that He will send you the right person and be open to know that that person might not be everything you want from your list. 


So I started to focus on working on myself, reading inspirational stories of women in the bible like Rebekah, Ruth and the Proverbs 31 noble woman whom I aspire to be. I started to follow Meagan Good and her husband Devon Franklin as they mirrored the road I have chosen to take and their journey has given me great courage to trust in God and to let go. I have heard that their book "The Wait" is worth every penny especially if you waiting on God. I am yet to read this book. (Should you feel the need to buy it for me. I will not say no (hahaha) unless if you have alterior motives then stop right there). Jokes aside though, from the previews I've read online, the Instagram images of the book and watching videos of the couple. I recommend this book to everyone who is celibate and waiting on God.

I wanted (and still do want) to know and understand what it means to be a wife and what is required from me because many times we as women (some of us) want to be a wife but yet we do not understand what it means to be a wife. I also wanted to understand what a husband is and what role he plays. I associated myself more with the Proverbs 31 woman because she isn't just a wife and a mother. She is also a business woman who works late till the night and wakes up early to feed her family, a woman who is wise and noble, sews clothes for her family, gives to the less fortunate but importantly. Her worth is far more than rubies.

In this period of praying, meditating and hustling. I felt like I was in the doctor's waiting room, waiting to hear any news or word from God because at that point; nothing seemed to be functional in my life. It is still, quiet and dark in this room. I don't know if I'm going or staying, if I'm doing the right thing or not and if I should go right or left. In the middle of all this I receive a call that my keys are ready for collection for an apartment I applied for last year. This came as a shock because I'm in no space to add on to my responsibilities. So I decide to rent it out. It makes perfect sense to do so. I remember the day I went to see the final product, collect keys and clean it. I fell in love with the place. A blessing. When I was down to nothing, God was up to something and it was just perfect. Beautiful, just for me and just like Abraham and Jacob when God gave them land. I named my apartment "God Has Blessed" because he gave me this apartment when I had nothing and didn't do anything to see it through. I had actually forgotten that I had applied for it.

I looked for tenants but no one could occupy the space and I was running out of time as the first payment was coming up. And just like that, God worked another miracle. The UIF money came. When I was minus a lot of money in my bank account, people calling for their money every single hour of each day. When I had not even a cent to my name and had given up on the UIF money. God opened up heaven and had mercy on me. I paid all my debts, the calls stopped, I could help my family and myself, my car was serviced and had petrol. At my lowest, my God showed Himself.

I'm happy to say that my family is closer than ever. I have 2 more nephews to add to the list (which makes it 3 in total. For now). A miracle for my older sister because she just had her first baby at 35. I remember my Aunt told me that you're never late. God's timing and the world's timing are 2 different things. She also told me that when I'm in the waiting room, when its dark and all windows and doors are closed. When there is no sound and you can't hear The Lord's voice. To keep on waiting, trusting, taking everything to God in thanksgiving and to never loose faith and hope. That He will finally speak, and when that moment came. What a glorious thing it will be.

So although things are unfolding slowly, I'm still in this journey with God. I'm now freelancing with hope that this is only the beginning of greater things to come. God has more in store for me. I'm in a position where I can help others by sharing my journey with them and encouraging them. I haven't met someone yet but I trust God's timing. Until then, I will enjoy and delight in what He has blessed  me with.

What I take from this lesson is this: Never run away or fear the journey. Even when it feels like you are walking through the shadow of death,  He is with you. When you have no thanksgiving or worship words. Thank you is enough. It may not feel like it is, but it is enough. Make sure you talk to people, that you are surrounded by people who love and support you and not crash you down. I am very grateful to everyone who stood by me on this journey because when I only had "thank you Jesus" come out of my mouth and nothing else. They stood by me in prayer, praying for me and I wouldn't have made it without them

So I'm still in the waiting room but a window is open. I see my surroundings, I hear children laughing, opportunities arising. I feel the sun on my face and I'm filled with joy. This journey hasn't ended yet but I have hope for things to come.

RETRENCHED... NOW WHAT? - THE BEGINNING

The first truth you need to know is this, it gets better with time.

Hear me out.

Thing is, I have been in this situation before so I know it gets better with time. I started with this post last year a few days after I was retrenched. I wanted to capture every emotion I felt and motivate myself for the road ahead.

The first time I was retrenched was in 2012. I volunteered to be retrenched. Why? I wasn't learning, growing nor being developed to enhance my skills and creativity. I thought to myself, "I'm better learning and growing than being stagnant".  So I left the "comfortable" (the salary) without any plans. I mean I had no plans at all. All I knew was that I was meant for bigger things and should I have stayed for comfort-ability sake, I would have never known nor discovered the greatness within me. So I took the risk.

Now, I don't encourage people to leave their jobs for self-discovery without plans. Especially if you have responsibilities such as family, children, debt and such. When I left the company I was 24 years old without any responsibility. No family of my own, no children, no debts. That's why I could afford to take the risk.

Three years later I'm retrenched, again. This time I didn't choose it, which makes it more difficult to accept as I never expected it. I didn't volunteer for it, it just happened. What is more difficult this time around is that I have much more responsibilities to care for than before.

So now what do I do!

Some people might look at me being retrenched the second time around as my fault. Call it karma, for choosing it the first time. Truth is, you can never protect yourself from retrenchment and the decision of the first retrenchment has nothing to do with what happened the second time around.

In the midst of all the emotions I went through, I couldn't post anything on my blog because I didn't have any wise, encouraging words to write. I was in a horrible, dark place mounted by responsibilities that I couldn't handle. How did I survive it?

Here's the story, here's my journey of the past 3 months.

I was called in the MD's office for a meeting they had scheduled. Before this, they had prepared us for the worst that "could" happen and I thought I had myself ready for whatever would come. Little did I know, how unprepared I was for the journey ahead. So I walked into the office with confidence. My hair game was on fleek, so was my dress, heels, make-up and even my walk. I'm talking everything about me being on fleek, including my emotions (yass).

 A few minutes later after the pleasantries I was told I was retrenched. This wasn't hard to take in as I had prepared myself for whatever would come. Now don't go thinking that I had myself prepared for retrenchment because I "must've" failed at my work responsibilities. I mean, that's the main reason people get retrenched, right?

Wrong! I had prepared myself as I had had an unsettling feeling about how everything was unfolding. I knew everything about me and my work was on point but I couldn't shake the feeling off that I was going to be retrenched. You might say "God" was preparing me for it. Hence the confidence. People think that when you serve The Almighty Lord, that life is a bed or roses but that's not even close to the truth, and yet again that's a topic for another time :). Let's stay focused on this topic at hand.

So after the meeting with the MD,  I went back to the office, gathered my colleagues around and broke down the news to them before hearsay had a chance to spread the word. I then got on the phone and told my loved ones. My family was shocked and overwhelmed by the news. It was a bit too much for them to handle as I was the only breadwinner at home at the time. (Little did I know how that would change, for the better of course). So on the last day of work, I didn't say my goodbyes to clients and suppliers. Mainly because I'm horrible at goodbyes. They are sad and dramatic (hahaha) but I also knew that they would be in great hands and that everything would be taken care of.

I walked out the office with my head and hopes up. It was the beginning of greater things (coupled with bumps here and there) but I didn't want to focus on the negative. Little did I know that I required more faith and hope for what was to come.

See apart from being retrenched, I went through an all rounder heartache. I lost a friend who committed suicide because of depression. My then boyfriend and I went our separate ways. I moved back to my Mother's house which is something I hadn't done in years - the longest I had been home was a week. The money I received from my employer wasn't enough to last me, which meant that my debts and responsibilities costed me two arms and all legs to keep up with every month. 2 of my siblings became unemployed (retrenched too) and my only sibling who had a job, was pregnant. At this point in time, all of my Mother's children were home, under 1 roof with less money that could support all of us. It wasn't a weekend thing that we do once a month (be together at my Mother's house). It was all of us, together, longer than a week with all our tempers and characters. No amount of preparation could assist me in what was to come.

I remember when I arrived home, I even took a picture. That's then reality hit. It felt like it was over before it began. Like I had gone all the way back to start afresh and as much as that sounds exciting now, it didn't then. It was terrifying, overwhelming and scary but I wanted to capture that moment as a reminder to myself of the journey ahead. As a reminder of where I was and what God and I would accomplished along the way.

With all the emotions I went through, the one thing I didn't want to do was to drown in those emotions and let them deter me from where I was going and the plans I had for my future. I took out the 3 papers from my bag and put them where they belong, on the wall. I then gathered my business partners to motivate and give them a vision. I did as much as I could to get their mentality shifted from poverty to riches, from weakness to strength and from nothing to something. So we started by exploring our surroundings (mentally and physically) to see what profit we could make out of it. We made a tropical bar that we decided to use for our very first tropical event. I even had my nephew join in on the fun. Start them young hey (hahaha). He had fun though :)

It all started out great, my business partners and I accomplished and learned many things in the process. We excelled, we were strong, a team, one unit. We secured an artist, killed our marketing and got everyone talking about the event. I believed in it so much so that I used my retrenchment money to support the event. Big learning mistake that was. See what happened was our event was cancelled on the day of the event.

That day in particular wasn't just the day we were to make history, that was also my birthday.

The pain of the "loss/failure" was too much that I cried a lot, and that's history for me because I don't like crying. It makes your eyes red, gives you a headache and I'm not for that. It's too much honey, too much but on that day. It was like a waterfall, I couldn't stop nor control the tears.The disappointment tore me to pieces. I couldn't smile, I wasn't happy nor excited about anything. It was the saddest birthday I've had so far.

The good side of it is that it taught me my first business lesson; research goes a long way. Not just any research, proper well done research. The one that covers everything, even things you don't think are important. During the planning of the event I had prayed, my mind was focused on it and all I wanted to hear from everyone involved in the project was positive things only. Heck, even my finances were focused on this event but one thing I didn't do right, costed me everything. It took me all the way back to the ground, on the floor, crying. I remember my business partners put an apology poster on our social media to inform people that the event was cancelled. I hated that poster from that day because I felt like I had failed my team and I.

The next coming days were dark. I lost weight, I couldn't be positive. I couldn't motivate anyone, my negativity rubbed off on my business partners and family members, not because I wanted everyone to feel what I felt. It was because I couldn't manage nor control how I felt. I'm not saying I was too much to be around. I just wasn't positive.

BURN THE FLOOR: FIRE IN THE BALLROOM...

Get ready to rock to sizzling production of Burn the Floor.

Before there was Dirty Dancing… Before there was Saturday Night Fever… Before ballroom dancing became cool with reality TV… There was the real deal - the dancers tearing up the dance floor, in an “international style” competition since 1920.

International style competitions involve five Latin American dances and five classic ballroom dances. From this competition came a theatre production so fabulous, so hot that it’s called Burn the Floor. Only the fanciest foot moves and tidiest twirls make it on this stage … and they’re coming soon to South African stages. The countdown is well and truly on – Burn the Floor: Fire in the Ballroom starts its South African run at the State Theatre next month.

The original concept of the theatrical dance production grew from an electric display of ballroom and Latin dancing at Sir Elton John's 50th birthday party in 1997. It was there that the ballroom dance world was opened up to producer Harley Medcalf .His first edition of Burn the Floor was launched in 1999 and revolutionised the image of dance.

By 2016, it has evolved, and the new South African run of Burn the Floor: Fire in the Ballroom has a theatrical rock angle. Think Santana, Janis Joplin, Christina Aguilera and Led Zeppelin. There are no Tiny Dancers here. It’s something about the way you look tonight. It’s hauling out your blue moves. Described as “gloriously sinful” it promises to put dance competitions as you know them to shame.

Catch it at the below theatres:

The Opera Theatre of The South African State Theatre in Pretoria from April 27th to May 15th; 

The Baxter Theatre at the Baxter Theatre Centre in Cape Town from May 19th to June 5th; and 

The iZulu Theatre at the Sibaya Casino in Durban from June 8th to 19th.

Choreographed and directed by long-time Australian Latin champion Peta Roby, the international cast of dance champions includes the sensational South Africans, Johannes Radebe and Kylee Brown.

Born and talent nurtured in South Africa, Johannes Radebe started dancing at the age of 7. He is the current reigning South African National Ballroom and Latin American Champion and is a season dance trainer for the TV production Strictly Come Dancing SA. Johannes recently became a very recognisable figure in South Africa when he and his celebrity partner, Capetonian Leigh-Anne Williams, were the runners-up in the 2015 season of the TV show.

Kylee Brown was born in Pretoria and started dancing at the age of 8. Kylee is the undefeated WDC South Africa Under 21 Latin Champion. In 2011 she won the Under 21 WDC World Latin Championships and the highlight of her dancing career to date was winning the Under 21 Open British Latin Championship in Blackpool in 2012.

Burn The Floor: Fire in The Ballroom is brought to South Africa in 2016 by Dance Partner Productions, in association with The South African State Theatre and Bernard Jay. Step lively if you want to see it - tickets for the South African tour in 2016 are now on sale at Computicket.

Tickets are now on sale at Computicket, visit www.computicket.com.

Follow the tour on facebook   Burn the Floor SA Tour : Fire in the Ballroom / twitter @OfficiaBTF #burnthefloorsa