Have you ever felt that you were on a wrong path of life while looking at the path you were supposed to be on initially? That's what happened to me while I was on my way to my
great next step. I had taken a detour that would cost me more, than what I thought/hadn't thought it would.
Here's the story;
While I was down and under with no job, no income and debt all the way up to my neck, a friend told me about a job opening and, without hesitation, I confirmed the interview. At this point I had applied for work and hadn't heard anything back from any of the companies I had sent my CV's/resume to. So at the sound of the news from my friend and confirming the interview, I
told God that "
this was it. This was what I had been praying for" and so I started chanting joyful songs and proclaiming it as mine. Finally, a job opening - I thought to myself in excitement.
Looking back, I noticed that that was where the problem started. You see instead of
asking God if that job opening was what he wanted for me, I
told Him that it was, what He wanted for me. Sometimes we think we know what we want and we tell God to make it happen. I have noticed that this happens often to me when I am going through difficult times and have been waiting what seems like ages.
I remember on the day of the interview my older sister wanted to make sure I looked like I had the job already (walking in faith). I had to send pictures to her to confirm my look, head to toe. So I went to the interview and had a treat while I waited for the door to open to my
next great step. A refresher from what I had been going through. My new would-be employer arrived and seemed nice, lovely and outspoken. He spoke with such joy about his company and plans to grow it and how I would fit in. Before you know it, I was hired.
I was so excited to start at this new job because not only was it bringing about with it some sort of financial relief, it was something different to what I had done before in my work career. That meant a new skill to learn, a new field to grow in and an opportunity to learn something new. While it was exciting being there, learning and growing, it got sour for me real quick.
My new employer and I were two entirely different people. From the way we spoke, the way we communicated, the system and ideas we had about work, it was all different, which if you look at it in a positive way, it seemed that we complemented each other in a Ying Yang kind of way. Our different ways of doing things complemented the way we worked and brought about good results, but it didn't end there. In being different to each other, a lot of differences came out and for me that was the beginning of a difficult situation to wake up to, every-work-day.
With me being the way I am, it was very difficult to communicate with my employer the pain he had caused me. It was difficult to approach him and try solve the situation at hand because he expressed himself loudly. So I couldn't address the situation with him and that made it very difficult for me to love my work. I began to speak negatively about my job to my family as it was really bothering me. This brought a lot of negativity in my life and sent me downhill, which didn't help with the stress I was already going through.
The good people around me kept telling me to look at the situation positively and to focus on the good that I could do. They said that God was going to use what I was going through for my good - turn things around. I heard and understood what they were saying and knew it to be true, but I was so deeply hurt, stressed, negative and furious, that I couldn't believe that God would use what I was going through and turn it around for-my-good.
I started to see everything negatively and it weighed heavy on me. My whole demeanor was negative because I was broken. Completely. I have worked with people before and they have never broken my spirit to this extend. I have always kept my head up high and hopeful, but I couldn't do that this time around. I guess what I had been going through, toppled with the new found stress, just took away all the strength I had left.
I continued on this path for a while mainly because of my finacial responsibilities. Whatever little I had all went to my financial responsibilities. My negative babbling continued for a while until a very good friend of mine, whom I consider a sister, took note of this and wasn't happy with it. She then advised me to read a book that had helped her through her storms - "
Your Best Life Now" by Joel Osteen
This book took me by surprise - I remember thinking that to myself. I related to the words so much that I felt like I was "
found again" by God. I felt His love all over me again. I was no longer angry and I could be positive again. I began to let God lead me and it wasn't an easy thing to work through at first. It took a lot from me to draw back to God by not only being positive, but living and speaking positively and letting the pain go. I forgave my employer and released the hurt. I felt a sense of relief and joy when I let the pain go.
As I continued reading the book, I remember asking God permission to leave my job. I asked for it because, I didn't know what plans God had for me being there, because I remembered that His ways are greater than mine. Sometimes pain and struggles are God's ways of bringing the best out of us, and I didn't want to mess around with God's plans. So after meditating and spending time with God, I resigned, and once again. I was without a job, but this time around,
God brought about an opportunity - although I must say I almost missed this opportunity because it was wrapped in wrapper not of my liking.
Thanks for the push from my loved ones (most especially Mommy dearest), I took the risk and opened the blessing and I do not regret it because I see God's glory, power and hand upon it all. It's definitely not easy. It has it's ups and downs but I feel the hand of God upon me, so much so, that I realized that what I thought was a detour and a mistake, was actually a blessing.
See God wasn't surprised that I had taken that detour. He knew I would, and at that exact moment in my life. It is now that I realize that that detour, was actually God preparing me for what was to come.
What I'm trying to say is that sometimes we think our mistakes take God by surprise and He now has to save us from the mess we created. The truth is, God knows everything before it even happens. He sees it all and knows it all, and He has a solution for all we go through. You might be at a point in your life right now where you feel you have made the worst mistake or have brought trouble onto your doorstep by not waiting a little bit longer, and found yourself taking a detour. You may feel danger all around and not see a way out.
Well friend, there is a God near you, waiting to help you and all you have to do, is draw yourself closer to Him. Sometimes I feel like I should've said something, done something to communicate how I felt to my employer. I guess I was afraid and had lost courage. I turned to The Great I Am when I had no voice, and when I was weak to my knees to stand up for myself. He took it all and turned it around for my good. He took the fear and gave me joy. He renewed my strength by giving me hope.
I am now able to sing joyful songs to Him because of HIM. Whatever it is you are going through and no matter the darkness or negativity that surrounds you. Do not give up, keep taking it a step at a time and if it gets to heavy, and you can't carry it anymore. Take it all to Jesus in prayer.
It gets better :)
