Tuesday, 6 October 2015

LEARNING TO LOVE MYSELF 2.0

“Ever since I can remember, I have always wanted to find that "amazing love" that movies like Titanic, The Proposal, The Vow and Sex in the City amongst many others show. That look in the eyes while he says "I love you", the long walk by the beach, romantic dinner, stolen kisses, cooking together kind of love. That kind of love that people call cliché or idealist love, that one. That's me”

This is where it all began. With a deep desire to be loved by someone who never gets tired of me and always consistent with loving me.I heard someone at church once say "how you get the girl, is how you keep the girl." Since the last update on "learning to love myself", I decided to go on a journey of my own to Learn to Love Myself and I chose September as the month to woo myself J

September has been an open door worth exploring for me. It started with me not giving much thought, attention and planning to it for each day throughout the entire month (which is unlike me because I love to plan ahead). I must say that a lot took place and I’m soo excited to share this door with you.

The initial idea was to make all experiences throughout September to be based on the below,
1.    To accept Myself,
2.    To spend time with myself, 
3.    To spoil myself, 
4.    To try new things, 
5.    To spend tons of time with friends and family, 
6.    To invest in myself (body) and 
7.    To invest in myself (career)

To be honest with you, I didn’t follow the plan all the way (Hahaha). Life happened, in a great way though. So let me tell you about what happened.


1. Accept Myself - I AM NOT THE PROBLEM, I AM GOD'S PROVISION

Accepting myself for who I am, was the most difficult to do as I felt that I was a problem in my relationships (past and present) and the reason why they failed. I came to a realization that “I am not the problem, I am God’s provision”. I also had to stop blaming people and labeling them as mistakes in my life because all the wrongs taught me how to appreciate the right. This realization didn’t come easy, it came through a message at a Sisters Conference at church that Pastor Charlotte Gambill preached. Here’s a clip of what I experienced.




In life a lot of us are labelled the "problem or a mistake" to a point where we believe it and it ends up destroying us from the inside. Accepting your true self is one of the first steps in loving yourself. Whether you made the mistake or not, we are all humans but no one should be labelled the problem/mistake. 

Last night I watched a movie called "Inside Out" and it's about the little voices in our minds. It depressed me a bit especially when it came to a character called Sadness. This character was sad for real, even to a point where she made me sad and depressed. Sad wasn't "wanted" in the mind because she made everything gloomy and depressed. She didn't fit in and everything she did was a mistake. Her sadness got to a point that her and Joy accidentally "leave" headquarters (the mind) to where memories are stored. Through the journey of them finding their way back to the main headquarters, Joy realizes that the mind needs both Joy and Sadness. What I'm trying to say is, we need mistakes in order to learn to do it the right way. People are not mistakes, rather experiences are. So do not allow yourself to be labelled a mistake because that is a lie. You are God's provision.




2. SPEND TIME WITH MYSELF

To be honest with you I didn't spend time with myself. I was busy keeping myself busy so that I didn't think a lot. I spent a lot of the time at church volunteering and it gave me a great sense of peace and love (which is exactly what I needed).


3. SPOIL MYSELF

I thought about it but I never really got to doing it (hahaha). I plan on booking myself a weekend away at a Safari Lodge for my birthday weekend with a Spa and flowers from my self to myself. This is a goal I plan to see it through.


4. TRY NEW THINGS

My friend Michillay got myself and a few friends of ours to hike a 10km hill for charity. The minute I heard charity I was in. So much so that I didn't consider the fact that I hadn't exercised in months. The trial was about 3 hours and started early morning at 08h30. It was a hiking trip that my whole body will remember (hahaha), but I had fun. The only thing I wanted more at that time was to take my dogs with but I'm looking for places where I can go hiking with them. The hiking made me love nature even more and appreciated what the body can do under intense pressure.



5. SPEND TONS OF TIME WITH FAMILY AND FRIENDS

This I'm proud to say I did lots of. The most time I spent at church was with my girls. We had lots of fun being around each other and coming up with new, creative and innovative ideas that will impact our lives and those around us. It was a much needed Girls Time and it was amazing. We formed a great bond during the month of September that we are continuing with. I would urge all women to gather around other like minded women and unite as that bond will help you through anything. Not forgetting my male friends. They are awesome and keep a Sister laughing.

I know most times when I go through something I like to be left alone but I'm so grateful I didn't do that this time. I had no worries of being perfect with my friends. I was myself and it was all worth it.


My Family I enjoyed for 4 days (hahahahahahaha). In that four days I managed to fight and make up with my sisters. Spend a lot of time with my nephew (or rather say he spent a lot of his time with my car), catch up on business with my brother and a much needed time with Mommy.  I love my family and thankful to God for them. As much as my sisters and I fight, we end up loving each other right back and I'm soo happy that I got to squeeze in time with them. One thing though, it's bad enough that I have to squeeze time to spend with my family. So my next goal is to spend as much time with them as possible. After all, they are amazing darling.


6. INVEST IN MYSELF (BODY)

One morning after I got out of bed to go outside and appreciate nature, I took notice of something that's always been there but I just missed it. I noticed that my dogs stretch everyday without failure. Before they do anything, they stretch. So I asked myself: if my dogs stretch everyday without failure, why not do it? So I put time aside to focus on my body and to stretch everyday. I don't put a time limit on how long each session should take and I switched my mentality from "I need to lose weight" to focus on just stretching. I must be honest with you, this helped me a great deal. Not only do I love it, I enjoy it because there's no pressure. Some people do yoga, some run, some do exercises. I stretch and I don't feel bad about it.


7. INVEST IN MYSELF (CAREER)

While at home, my brother and business partner mentioned a book I had heard before but never paid attention to. Rich dad, Poor dad. He told me about how rich the book is with knowledge especially for the business journey we on. I trust his judgement so I took the book from him and started reading while on our way to a meeting. Once he called "we're here", I couldn't believe the time that had passed while I was reading this book. I'm not one for selling something I don't believe in and this book is amazing. I learn something new everyday. It is for people who want financial literacy in their lives that will last for generations to come. If you looking for quick money, I unfortunately have no book to recommend to you. I have started to put into action what I learn and there's no going back for me. This book is worth the investment and time.



















With all that I experienced during September, I plan to continue and grow it. I have acquired a new love for and within myself that I believe no one can take away or give me. A love within stronger than any other I can receive from anyone. It is difficult to teach someone to love you but much more difficult to teach yourself to love yourself. I used to feel selfish for loving and spending time with myself as I thought I could give more but the more I gave, the more of me I lost.

So I'm taking control back and bringing in the balance. I'M LEARNING TO LOVE MYSELF









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