FUN DAY WITH HAIR

I had such an amazing time with Design Essential on their Friday Brunch at The Kitchen Bar in Fourways with @frogirlginny and @ownbyfemme as guest speakers.

I decided to do the up bun with my braids after washing it and this is how I accomplished it.

1. Washed hair with @DesignEssential Almond and Avocado shampoo,
2. Applied @DesignEssentials Almond and Avocado moisturizing and detangling conditioner while wet,
3. For my scalp I used T444Z and
4. Once I had my bun up, I used @DesignEssential natural honey and shea butter tamer to control the edges :)

 

The event was filled with gorgeous naturalistas  who came together to have fun, learn and connect with each other. Here's what went down (excuse the quality of my phone camera. It was the only gadget I had at that time.)

 

We talked everything hair including treatment, maintenance and shrinkage. It was an insightful event that I hope +Design Essentials will do more of.

 

Ecclesiastes 12:1

ON YOUR WAY TO YOUR NEXT...

HAIR UPDATE...

It's been a while since I did a hair update. In short, it's been a battle (hahaha).

In September of this year I celebrated a year since going natural. I love the journey I have embarked on with my hair, I do not regret making this decision. The top left is when I cut my hair last year September (not the big chop) and the other pictures are progresses since then.

My Hair Routine

1. Tie Hair Before Sleep

In recent months I have failed to protect my hair at night as all I want to do is sleep (I'm my worst at night, I'm a morning person). Protecting my hair by tying it in knots took a lot of time to do every night as I had to moisturize and comb it before tying it. In short, I was too lazy to keep up every night.

2. Wash Once Every Week

If you follow me on Insta you would know that Saturdays are my wash days. The only problem with that is that the minute water touches my hair, it shrinks. A lot. This is my hair after I washed it. 

3. Apply Treatment Once A Week

As I mentioned on my previous post. I do 2x moisture and 2x protein treatments on my hair monthly after wash. Recently I have been applying more moisture than protein as my hair was dry a lot (might be the South African weather as it is hot around this time). My hair seems to be loving Dr. Miracles and T444z a lot. They leave my scalp healthy and hair moisturized. 

4. Protect It

The last protective style I had on my hair was 2 months ago (July). I have gone without styling for 2 months and that has made my hair shrink a lot as I didn't protect it often at night and I combed it a lot in order to style it for the day. My favorite protecting styles are singles or braids because it is easy for me to wash and apply treatment on my hair.

Right now I have braids on (wooohooo) and I plan on keeping them for 2 months as this is much easier for me to maintain than tying knots every night. There are many ways to protect your hair at night such as the bantu and twist out knots which is amazing for curls in the morning. 

Threading and stretching (with wool), which is great for giving hair length.

So all in all, love your hair and take care of it J

WHILE WAITING FOR THE NEXT...

It has been a while since I let my fingers dance on the keyboard to the rhythm of my blog. Much has happened that has affected me on many levels and I have had to make the decision to focus on the positive. I want to look into these changes with you in order to show you how they have affected and helped me prepare for My Next. Before we get into it, let me explain to you what the "Now" and "Next" means to me.

The Now - is everything happening to me and within me in this current moment that affects me in a positive or negative way. While on this stage/phase, I made the decision to look at the bigger picture by asking myself these 3 questions;

1. What should I learn/take from this?

2. What is it preparing me for?

3. How can I prepare for what is to come?

These questions did not come easy and quick. It took time because a question we spend a lot of time asking when we are going through things is; "why is this happening to me?" Which is a good question to ask but it makes you stagnant until answered. I won't lie and say I never asked the question myself when going through trying times. It took a lot of time for me to get out of the depression phase where I was a victim to the changes and to start looking at the positive by planning for "My Next". My Mother told me to always "recognize the season I am in" in order to plan, prepare and make the right choices. This statement has helped me a great deal in life when I needed it. Let me break it down for you. In life we have 4 seasons; Summer, Autumn, Winter and Spring. 

Summer is everything bright, blue and sunny. A time some of us go out for picnics, braai (in South Africa), have ice cream, enjoy the beach and the beautiful weather. This is the time where we don't have to worry about much. We pack our winter clothes away and bring out the summer clothes with sun tans. If you are in this season, then the first thing you have to do is to remove everything heavy in your heart, mind and soul. All the troubles and worries you have faced, for the sun is shinning and you don't want to take your "winter troubles" with to Summer as you will miss all the wonderful things that Summer brings with it.

Autumn is the time when the old falls away to make space for the new. This is the time when leaves fall and with it sometimes, our hopes for the future. This is the time to cut everything in your life that doesn't produce fruit, doesn't help you grow, prosper, add value in your life and cultivate you in order to make space for the new.

Winter is a cold season of which some of us enjoy in the comfort of our homes next to anything warm. It is a season of separation where some of us don't enjoy much celebrations with our loved ones as  much as we do in the Summer. I have seen it as a season where situations take root and it is uncomfortable as you feel alone and everything around you dark. This is one season I don't enjoy.

Spring is a season where what was rooting in winter now takes shape. Nature starts to sprout, development as well as multiplication takes place. What was rooted in winter, starts to develop and take shape in Spring. It is very important to be aware of what you plant during your winter season as it will take shape/bear fruits in Spring.

I recognized my seasons according to the below months;
September and October are my Spring season months as it is usually around this time blessings come to me multiplied. This is the time everything becomes new and sprouts in my life. It is around this time of year I start writing down my goals and developing a vision for the next year. This is the time I experience new blessings in different forms. For example; last year I received a call for an interview for a position I hadn't applied for and I was told I was the perfect candidate. The salary was twice what I earned where I was and obviously I took the offer. Blessings multiplied J

November to January are my Summer season months as everything is bright, blue and sunny. Kinda like you would say, they are months were everything makes sense. There are no distractions, forced changes and negativity. Just bright sunny days.

February to March are my Autumn season months as this is the time I cut what I don't need in my life that is not adding value in my life. Whether that be people,a job, unnecessary responsibilities and baggage that is pulling me back instead of moving me forward. February is the month I make bold decisions and take risks and March is the month I meditate by being alone in prayer.

April to August are my winter months where I go through uncomfortable changes from within and outside where I feel alone like darkness surrounds me. I spend much less time with friends, family, anyone and anything else. This is the time I would like to be aware of what I take in that I allow to root within as it will take shape soon.

This year the seasons have changed drastically from the beginning of the year to the current month. It all felt like one long winter without any other seasons. There were no opportunities that allowed me to be brave this February, I didn't meditate in March, April to August I planned and managed the changes, September I spent alone in my thoughts (it was an uncomfortable month), I lost a friend in October and so far November I seem to be tired a lot. I haven't caught a vision for next year which means I haven't written down goals for the coming year.

I had to force myself to be aware of what I take in especially with what has happened in the country during recent months (#feesmustfall campaign). Students made a stand to say enough is enough, so why couldn't I with what I was going through? Enough depression was enough. I started to be aware of what I allowed to take root within me from social media and my surroundings. I started watching motivation videos, reading motivational books, being in prayer and surrounding myself with anything positive. I came across Brendon's video "5 Ways To Achieve More Balance In Life" that I had to have a second look at "My Now" in order to plan for "My Next".





After watching this video,I looked at the 3 questions I mentioned at the beginning of this post again to answer them.

1. What should I LEARN/TAKE from this?
What I have learned is that despite what I am going through right now, the truth is that God has done great things in my life before and He will bless me again (greater and above). I learned that once I took to heart the seasons of my life and started focusing on them only. I lost touch of the bigger picture which is Christ.

Blessings are wonderful, but they are not the only things to live for. Look around (even in your darkness), find happiness, be positive and count the blessings you have Now. Looking at the next and always focusing on that will rob you of the now. A time you will never get back again. Sometimes what you are going through now, could be preparing you for your next and if you cut corners short. Your next will be made even more difficult.

Take for example the stages that a caterpillar goes through in order for it to become a butterfly.

"The pupa stage is one of the coolest stages of a butterfly’s life.  As soon as a caterpillar is done growing and they have reached their full length/weight, they form themselves into a pupa, also known as a chrysalis.  From the outside of the pupa, it looks as if the caterpillar may just be resting, but the inside is where all of the action is.  Inside of the pupa, the caterpillar is rapidly changing.Now, as most people know, caterpillars are short, stubby and have no wings at all.  Within the chrysalis the old body parts of the caterpillar are undergoing a remarkable transformation, called ‘metamorphosis,’ to become the beautiful parts that make up the butterfly that will emerge. Tissue, limbs and organs of a caterpillar have all been changed by the time the pupa is finished, and is now ready for the final stage of a butterfly’s life cycle. 

The Fourth Stage: Adult Butterfly

Finally, when the caterpillar has done all of its forming and changing inside the pupa, if you are lucky, you will get to see an adult butterfly emerge.  When the butterfly first emerges from the chrysalis, both of the wings are going to be soft and folded against its body. This is because the butterfly had to fit all its new parts inside of the pupa. As soon as the butterfly has rested after coming out of the chrysalis, it will pump blood into the wings in order to get them working and flapping – then they get to fly.  Usually within a three or four-hour period, the butterfly will master flying."

- See more at: http://www.thebutterflysite.com/life-cycle.shtml#sthash.i1MISuGq.dpuf 





2. What is it PREPARING ME FOR?
I'm not so sure about the finer details but I KNOW it is something far greater than I could ever imagine.

3. How can I prepare for WHAT IS TO COME?
Just like the caterpillar inside the pupa, alone and surrounded by darkness. Remember that you are going through rapid changes that are preparing you for the next. For me when going through these times, it is through prayer, meditation, keeping my mind busy by learning, keeping it positive and full of ideas that I manage to get through. All ideas that come to mind I write them down for there is no such things as bad ideas.

So what is "My Next" you ask? Is that which my faith sees to come. Like I said, I don't have the finer details but so far I have light of what I want to achieve not only next year but the year to follow as well. The ideas that I have written down have opened my mind to a whole new world. I am leaning things I never had interest in but benefit me greatly. Every day is a learning curve and I know that the best is yet to come in my life.

So I leave you with this: while waiting for "Your Next", see the good in "Your Now"  and take that forward with you. Make sure to have anything/anyone positive that can help you in this period to come of it greater because 2 is much better than 1.

LEARNING TO LOVE MYSELF 2.0

“Ever since I can remember, I have always wanted to find that "amazing love" that movies like Titanic, The Proposal, The Vow and Sex in the City amongst many others show. That look in the eyes while he says "I love you", the long walk by the beach, romantic dinner, stolen kisses, cooking together kind of love. That kind of love that people call cliché or idealist love, that one. That's me”

This is where it all began. With a deep desire to be loved by someone who never gets tired of me and always consistent with loving me.I heard someone at church once say "how you get the girl, is how you keep the girl." Since the last update on "learning to love myself", I decided to go on a journey of my own to Learn to Love Myself and I chose September as the month to woo myself J

September has been an open door worth exploring for me. It started with me not giving much thought, attention and planning to it for each day throughout the entire month (which is unlike me because I love to plan ahead). I must say that a lot took place and I’m soo excited to share this door with you.

The initial idea was to make all experiences throughout September to be based on the below,

1.    To accept Myself,

2.    To spend time with myself, 

3.    To spoil myself, 

4.    To try new things, 

5.    To spend tons of time with friends and family, 

6.    To invest in myself (body) and 

7.    To invest in myself (career)

To be honest with you, I didn’t follow the plan all the way (Hahaha). Life happened, in a great way though. So let me tell you about what happened.

1. Accept Myself - I AM NOT THE PROBLEM, I AM GOD'S PROVISION

Accepting myself for who I am, was the most difficult to do as I felt that I was a problem in my relationships (past and present) and the reason why they failed. I came to a realization that “I am not the problem, I am God’s provision”. I also had to stop blaming people and labeling them as mistakes in my life because all the wrongs taught me how to appreciate the right. This realization didn’t come easy, it came through a message at a Sisters Conference at church that Pastor Charlotte Gambill preached. Here’s a clip of what I experienced.

In life a lot of us are labelled the "problem or a mistake" to a point where we believe it and it ends up destroying us from the inside. Accepting your true self is one of the first steps in loving yourself. Whether you made the mistake or not, we are all humans but no one should be labelled the problem/mistake. 

Last night I watched a movie called "Inside Out" and it's about the little voices in our minds. It depressed me a bit especially when it came to a character called Sadness. This character was sad for real, even to a point where she made me sad and depressed. Sad wasn't "wanted" in the mind because she made everything gloomy and depressed. She didn't fit in and everything she did was a mistake. Her sadness got to a point that her and Joy accidentally "leave" headquarters (the mind) to where memories are stored. Through the journey of them finding their way back to the main headquarters, Joy realizes that the mind needs both Joy and Sadness. What I'm trying to say is, we need mistakes in order to learn to do it the right way. People are not mistakes, rather experiences are. So do not allow yourself to be labelled a mistake because that is a lie. You are God's provision.

2. SPEND TIME WITH MYSELF

To be honest with you I didn't spend time with myself. I was busy keeping myself busy so that I didn't think a lot. I spent a lot of the time at church volunteering and it gave me a great sense of peace and love (which is exactly what I needed).


3. SPOIL MYSELF

I thought about it but I never really got to doing it (hahaha). I plan on booking myself a weekend away at a Safari Lodge for my birthday weekend with a Spa and flowers from my self to myself. This is a goal I plan to see it through.


4. TRY NEW THINGS

My friend Michillay got myself and a few friends of ours to hike a 10km hill for charity. The minute I heard charity I was in. So much so that I didn't consider the fact that I hadn't exercised in months. The trial was about 3 hours and started early morning at 08h30. It was a hiking trip that my whole body will remember (hahaha), but I had fun. The only thing I wanted more at that time was to take my dogs with but I'm looking for places where I can go hiking with them. The hiking made me love nature even more and appreciated what the body can do under intense pressure.

5. SPEND TONS OF TIME WITH FAMILY AND FRIENDS

This I'm proud to say I did lots of. The most time I spent at church was with my girls. We had lots of fun being around each other and coming up with new, creative and innovative ideas that will impact our lives and those around us. It was a much needed Girls Time and it was amazing. We formed a great bond during the month of September that we are continuing with. I would urge all women to gather around other like minded women and unite as that bond will help you through anything. Not forgetting my male friends. They are awesome and keep a Sister laughing.

I know most times when I go through something I like to be left alone but I'm so grateful I didn't do that this time. I had no worries of being perfect with my friends. I was myself and it was all worth it.


My Family I enjoyed for 4 days (hahahahahahaha). In that four days I managed to fight and make up with my sisters. Spend a lot of time with my nephew (or rather say he spent a lot of his time with my car), catch up on business with my brother and a much needed time with Mommy.  I love my family and thankful to God for them. As much as my sisters and I fight, we end up loving each other right back and I'm soo happy that I got to squeeze in time with them. One thing though, it's bad enough that I have to squeeze time to spend with my family. So my next goal is to spend as much time with them as possible. After all, they are amazing darling.


6. INVEST IN MYSELF (BODY)

One morning after I got out of bed to go outside and appreciate nature, I took notice of something that's always been there but I just missed it. I noticed that my dogs stretch everyday without failure. Before they do anything, they stretch. So I asked myself: if my dogs stretch everyday without failure, why not do it? So I put time aside to focus on my body and to stretch everyday. I don't put a time limit on how long each session should take and I switched my mentality from "I need to lose weight" to focus on just stretching. I must be honest with you, this helped me a great deal. Not only do I love it, I enjoy it because there's no pressure. Some people do yoga, some run, some do exercises. I stretch and I don't feel bad about it.


7. INVEST IN MYSELF (CAREER)

While at home, my brother and business partner mentioned a book I had heard before but never paid attention to. Rich dad, Poor dad. He told me about how rich the book is with knowledge especially for the business journey we on. I trust his judgement so I took the book from him and started reading while on our way to a meeting. Once he called "we're here", I couldn't believe the time that had passed while I was reading this book. I'm not one for selling something I don't believe in and this book is amazing. I learn something new everyday. It is for people who want financial literacy in their lives that will last for generations to come. If you looking for quick money, I unfortunately have no book to recommend to you. I have started to put into action what I learn and there's no going back for me. This book is worth the investment and time.



















With all that I experienced during September, I plan to continue and grow it. I have acquired a new love for and within myself that I believe no one can take away or give me. A love within stronger than any other I can receive from anyone. It is difficult to teach someone to love you but much more difficult to teach yourself to love yourself. I used to feel selfish for loving and spending time with myself as I thought I could give more but the more I gave, the more of me I lost.

So I'm taking control back and bringing in the balance. I'M LEARNING TO LOVE MYSELF